Death in life

Warm and cold at once, a supermassive black hole.

A gay man’s embrace confuses me,

Bleached out by the conservative home I never asked for.

Dodging expectations while voices whisper: Do more. Do less.

Paralyzed to keep from screaming.

Dad and Sheryl, you gave a wall of nothingness

And advice built on infidelity.

Makenna, I saved you, but at my lowest, you used me.

Mom, you forged my tax returns and said

I faked my suicide to leave the military.

Now secrets boil into autoimmune disease,

My body eating itself from the inside out.

But I am in Houston now, purging the bullshit.

The writing is on the wall, written in my DNA.