(Intro - Warm acoustic guitar, brushed snare, moody upright bass)
(Clean, smoky voice)
Yellow Bug on a childhood street
Blocking out the memories I can't repeat
I sit at the Haven, watching hours tick
Stuck in a system that’s making me sick
(Verse 1 - Gentle blues groove)
Repeating my story to the VA walls
Same fucking forms, different fluorescent halls
Josh says "you don't get it, you don't have the habit"
Like pain is a trophy and you gotta grab it
Just because my poison comes in autoimmune
Doesn’t mean I ain’t screaming at the same cold moon
(Pre-Chorus 1 - Building tension, smoky organ kicks in)
Dialectics, double-edged swords on my tongue
An old man’s body, twenty-four and young
Arthritis in my joints, weight swinging on the scale
Tired of the same damn broken record tale
(Chorus 1 - Soulful, raspy, belting with dark grit)
And the gay scene's full of mean motherfuckers judging my skin
Deciding if I'm worthy enough to let in
I just wanted cheesy romance, a holiday spark
Instead of putting pieces together in the dark!
Same shit, different day, spinning around
I’m tired of screaming with no fucking sound
(Verse 2 - Intimate, stripped-back rhythm)
Escaped out of Lubbock just to lock the door
Holding onto keys while I sleep on the floor
Sister sends empty threats through a glowing screen
Breaking generational trauma, quiet and unseen
I feel so connected, yet completely alone
A ghost in a body that doesn't feel like home
(Pre-Chorus 2 - Bass heavy, drums building)
They build up the binary, black or the white
While I'm stuck in the middle, just fighting to fight
Told I ain't special 'cause we all share the stain
Well, fuck your comparison, this is my pain
(Chorus 2 - Full soulful swell, vocal grit)
Yeah, the gay scene's full of mean motherfuckers judging my skin
Deciding if I'm worthy enough to let in
I just wanted cheesy romance, a holiday spark
Instead of putting pieces together in the dark!
Same shit, different day, spinning around
I’m tired of screaming with no fucking sound
(Bridge - Music drops to a single, pulsing electric guitar chord)
(Vulnerable, soft, almost spoken)
What is "normal" anyway?
Is it too much to ask... to just be okay?
To hold somebody's hand without a defensive wall?
I have the keys right here...
So why do I feel so small?
(Guitar Solo / Interlude - Deep, bluesy, weeping electric guitar bend)
(Final Chorus - Maximum emotion, belting out the raw truth)
Yeah, the world is full of critical motherfuckers judging my skin!
Trying to define the lockdown I'm in!
I want the cheesy romance, I want the goddamn spark!
I'm done putting pieces together in the dark!
It's a broken record, but I'm lifting the needle tonight
Stepping out of the shadow and into the light
(Outro - Slowing down, Norah Jones style smoky piano/guitar finish)
(Soft, quiet, gentle breathing)
Yellow Bug... quiet room...
Twenty-four years old...
Unlocking the door...
Taking back the gold.
