I’ve been counting sunsets, watching years slip through my hands
Chasing shadows of the girl now in a grown woman’s skin
All the noise I called a life, are only echoes in the end
Now the quiet shows me clear what I should’ve known back then
There’s a list inside my chest, numbered ten down to one
Dreams I buried, love I hurt, chances lost and gone
But the weight i bare heaviest is on the very first line
Samyul, my son, I’m running out of time
Before my time is done, I wanna stand beneath a waterfall
Let the water wash the guilt and let the old me fall
I wanna climb Machu Picchu, cleanse with ayahuasca’s call
But none of it means a thing if I can’t reach you at all
Samyul, I’m sorry, God, I’m sorry
I just wanna be your mother
Before my time is done
I still see that little boy with tears streaming down your face. the worst day of my life.
The day i was taken away, was the beginning of the lost years of all our lives.
Every door I didn’t open, every call I didn’t make
This canyon that is between us, I carved with every mistake
Before my time is done i wanna learn one whole song on this old beat-up guitar, love out loud, tip big, forgive fast, leave kindness everywhere, but first I gotta face the mirror and forgive the woman standing there for her convoluted past
I was scared of being great, so I remained small
Scared of every damn thing, so I built these prison walls
But fear can't get the last word, not anymore
Today’s the day, I’m kicking down the door
Before my time is done, I wanna feel my grandson’s hand in mine, see my daughters laugh like sunlight, and my son to be proud of me, have you all together one happy family. i want to leave the darkness behind, meet my Maker with the peace of mind of knowing that I tried. The very first step, baby boy, starts with you tonight.
Samyul, I’m sorry, Lord, I’m sorry
I just wanna be your mother
Before my time is done
If you never call me Mom again, I’ll understand, I swear I do
But I’ll spend every breath I’ve got left proving myself to you
I can’t fix the years wasted, but the ones I’ve got, my son, they’re yours if you want ‘em
I’m here, I’m sober, I’m trying, I’m healing…
I just wanna love you
Let me love you
Before my time is done.