SEPERATED///SOUL

You want me to say it clean

You want it to make sense

…it doesn’t

You think I didn’t feel it breaking?

Like I wasn’t there for every crack

Like I didn’t watch us fall apart

And still keep trying to hold it back

You say I walked away too easy

Like I didn’t fight at all

But you don’t see what it looks like

When staying means we both dissolve

You call it love

I call it losing everything I was

I LEFT BEFORE I BECAME THE VILLAIN

BEFORE I HATED EVERY SECOND WE WERE LIVING

BEFORE YOUR NAME FELT LIKE A WEIGHT I COULDN’T HOLD

I LEFT BEFORE I SAID SOMETHING I CAN’T TAKE BACK

BEFORE WE TURNED INTO SOMETHING I WOULD LACK

I DIDN’T RUN—

I JUST KNEW WHERE THIS WOULD GO

You keep saying I abandoned you

Like I didn’t give you all I had

Like I didn’t lose myself

Trying not to make you mad

You needed more than I could give

And I kept bending ‘til I broke

Now you’re surprised I had to leave?

What did you think would happen—hope?

I’m not the thing you needed me to be

And I’m done pretending I could be

I LEFT BEFORE I BECAME THE VILLAIN

BEFORE I HATED EVERY SECOND WE WERE LIVING

BEFORE YOUR NAME FELT LIKE A WEIGHT I COULDN’T HOLD

I LEFT BEFORE I SAID SOMETHING I CAN’T TAKE BACK

BEFORE WE TURNED INTO SOMETHING I WOULD LACK

I DIDN’T RUN—

I JUST KNEW WHERE THIS WOULD GO

YOU THINK THIS WAS EASY?

YOU THINK I DON’T FEEL IT?

I STILL HEAR YOUR VOICE

I JUST WON’T LET IT KILL ME

I HAD TO LEAVE

I HAD TO—

…or there wouldn’t be anything left of me

I know how it looks

I know what you think

That I gave up

That I didn’t bleed

…but I did

I LEFT BEFORE I BECAME THE VILLAIN

BEFORE WE TURNED INTO SOMETHING UNFORGIVEN

BEFORE THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT TO SAVE

I LEFT BEFORE I LOST WHAT MADE ME ME

BEFORE YOUR LOVE BECAME A MEMORY

I COULDN’T ESCAPE

You needed me to stay

…I needed to survive