The room smells like smoke and regret
Mascara runs down a cigarette
My hands are baptized in cheap whiskey rain
Tryin’ to drown out guilt, tryin’ to numb the shame
The clock keeps preachin’ that I’m runnin’ out
So I pour another just to drown it out
I talk to God like He don’t hear
Then curse His name when He gets too near
Chorus
I’m drownin’ in whiskey, goin’ under slow
Prayin’ for mercy I don’t think I deserve though
Every breath tastes like sin and smoke
This bottle’s my cross and I’m losin’ the rope
Yeah, I’m sinkin’ deep in these liquid lies
With hell in my chest and tears in my eyes
Verse 2
Mama said, “Girl, don’t make this your grave”
But I dug it deeper with the drinks I chased
There’s a Bible somewhere under my bed
Haven’t touched it since the words turned red
I used to kneel, now I just fall
Face-first into the bathroom wall
I hear church bells in my head at night
Can’t tell if they’re warnin’ or invitin’ me inside
Chorus
I’m drownin’ in whiskey, lungs full of regret
Beggin’ forgiveness I ain’t earned yet
I whisper “amen” just to feel okay
Then pour another and push God away
Yeah, I’m treadin’ water in a losin’ fight
With the bottle keepin’ me company through this long and lonely night
Bridge
If You’re still listenin’, God, here’s the truth
I don’t need heaven, I just need through
I don’t need answers, don’t need a sign
Just help me survive this one more night
I’m scared if I’m sober I’ll feel it all
But I’m dyin’ slow every time I fall
If grace is real, don’t let go
I’m tired of sinkin’—I wanna float
Final Chorus
I’m drownin’ in whiskey, but I reached my hand
Through the dark water, toward Your plan
If You can love what I’ve become
Then maybe this ain’t where my story’s done
Yeah, pull me up from these broken seas
Wash me clean of what’s killin’ me
Outro
The glass is empty, the room’s still black
But I whispered Your name… and You whispered back
I ain’t free yet, but I’m on my knees
For the first time, I wanna breathe