Why Am I Walking Alone?

Why Am I Walking Alone?

I hold up my arms to you,

but you don’t reach back.

I stand here with my heart exposed,

waiting for you to see

how much I am hurting.

Your words shattered my heart

until there was nothing left

but dust.

And I keep asking myself—

Why?

Why did the person

I thought would protect my heart

become the one breaking it?

I thought we were partners.

I thought we were supposed

to face the world together.

So why am I walking this path alone?

Why am I carrying the weight

of battles that should have been ours?

My nights are cold.

Not because the room is cold,

but because I feel alone

even when someone is beside me.

And when the world goes quiet,

my mind becomes a battlefield.

I fight conversations

that already happened.

I fight words

I wish I had never heard.

I count every mistake.

Every failure.

Every moment I wasn’t enough.

I count the reasons

you might not love me.

And somewhere between

the counting and the fear,

I forget my worth.

I ask myself,

“Am I really worth fighting for?”

And that question

breaks me more than anything.

Because I shouldn’t have to beg

to feel valued.

I shouldn’t have to scream

to be heard.

I shouldn’t have to become smaller

just to keep someone beside me.

I shouldn’t have to walk alone

when we were supposed to be two.

So tonight,

I am tired.

Tired of pretending

that my heart isn’t broken.

Tired of smiling

when inside I am falling apart.

Tired of being strong

when all I want

is for someone to hold me

and say,

“I’ve got you.

You don’t have to fight this alone.”

But maybe this is where

I finally learn something.

Maybe my worth

was never decided by your words.

Maybe I don’t have to keep

counting everything I’ve done wrong.

Maybe I was always worth loving.

Maybe I was always worth choosing.

And maybe one day

I’ll stop holding out my arms

for someone who won’t reach back.

But tonight…

I’m still here.

With a heart reduced to dust,

still whispering,

“I thought we were partners.

Why did you leave me

to walk the hardest road alone?”