Letter to you

Hey, I’ve been holding some things in and I just want to be real with you. The other day when we were around each other, things felt calm and familiar. We were laughing, being playful, and for a second it felt like we were a real family again. But the way things shift so quickly between us is confusing and honestly exhausting. When I tried to call you after the appointment like you asked me to, you didn’t answer. So I went about my day taking care of the kids like I always do. Then to have you turn around and get upset with me for not texting back fast enough when I was the one managing everything felt unfair and hurtful. Especially when you constantly make it clear that we’re not together… until it’s convenient for you. That’s the part I struggle with. You say one thing and act another way. One minute it’s affection, gifts, playfulness… the next it’s cold, distant, and dismissive. It’s not fair for you to have me stuck in this emotional back-and-forth, especially when I’m trying to protect my peace and focus on the kids. And now with the mix-up over the money I get why it might’ve thrown you off, but your reaction was over the top. If you feel like you can’t trust me, then your money shouldn’t be in my account. I don’t want that kind of stress or accusation over something I didn’t even do. The truth is I do care about you. I want a healthy relationship with you, especially for the sake of our children. But not like this. I’ve taken a step back lately because I need space to really think about all of this. About your actions, your words, and how it all affects me and our kids. I don’t feel respected sometimes, and I won’t keep allowing that. So moving forward, I’m keeping the focus on our children. I’m not doing the emotional rollercoaster anymore. If you want more than that, it’s going to take real effort, respect, and consistency. Not just sweet moments followed by confusion and hurt. I’m choosing my peace, and if that means taking space, then that’s what I have to do. I do a lot I know I do but I also try to improve myself. I have people who love and want me regardless of my flaws. I love you so much that it’s time to choose you or myself please don’t make me choose. I’m glad we had our conversation and that I was able to be completely honest now I can completely be honest with no manipulation and be completely open and kind and caring and respectful to u cause u really do deserve it. Ur a wonderful man and I’m so grateful for u truly and I’m so proud to call u my baby daddy and hopefully someday my husband thank you so much for helping me grow as a person and a mother I really appreciate it and all the pushing u do for me so much to being better and self aware. Again I love you so much that it’s time to choose you or myself please don’t make me choose.