If it is alright
(If it is alright)
To conceal the truth
Then when does the concealment end
And lying begin?
Tell me when
Tell me when
You sheltered me from the truth
Like I was made of glass
Like I couldn't take the weight of what you knew
And maybe you were right
Maybe I would have shattered
But you chose to carry it instead
And it ate you from the inside
A slow hunger
A guilt that gnawed and gnawed
Until there was nothing left but rage
And you started lashing out
In such strange ways
In ways I didn't recognize
In ways that didn't sound like you
I watched them take you away in cuffs
The guilt and rage leashed you
Led you out like an animal
Like something that needed to be contained
And I stood there
On the porch
In the afternoon light
And I thought
I may not know the truth
But I know it killed you
Before they ever put you in that car
Reply to my lines
Like you practiced earlier today
Oh come on
Don't be shy
I've got the perfect script to match this tune
We've been rehearsing this for years
Haven't we?
Every conversation a performance
Every silence a line reading
Who really knows what goes on in the afternoon?
Let's not ruin the surprise
The postmeridian hours we performed
Seemed like such a perfunctory routine
A ritual
A going through the motions
But underneath
Something was rotting
Something was being hidden
And I could smell it
Even if I couldn't name it
I don't buy these incredulous denials
Do you think I funded your exit?
Paid for your escape?
I really shouldn't be thinking this way
But you gave me nothing else
You left me to fill in the blanks
And the blanks are where the monsters live
Sheltering me from the truth
While posturing guilt
Doesn't put my mind at ease
There'll be no excuses baby
No more rehearsals
No more scripts
The curtain is coming down
Maybe I should reconsider this diagnosis
Let's talk things out before we conclude
I was never a virtuoso at these procedures
I can't believe you didn't think I knew
That I hadn't noticed
The way you'd go quiet in the afternoon
The way your eyes would drift
Like you were somewhere else
Like you were already gone
Already planning your exit
While I was still here
Still performing
Still believing the routine was real
If it is alright
(If it is alright)
To conceal the truth
Then when does the concealment end
And lying begin?
Tell me when
Tell me when
Because I think it ended a long time ago
I think the concealment became the truth
And the truth became something
Neither of us could say out loud
If it were to end abruptly
Would it leave you wanting more?
If I were to end abruptly
Would it leave you...
If it were to end abruptly
Would it leave you wanting more?
If I were to end abruptly
Would it leave you wanting more?
Maybe I'll be the one who ends abruptly
Maybe I'll be the one who leaves you wanting
For once
Maybe I'll be the exit you didn't plan for
The truth you didn't conceal
The cut that doesn't heal
If it is alright
(If it is alright)
To conceal the truth
Then tell me when
extra_unbearable
