[Intro – Border Patrol Drill Sergeant voice]
🎙️
“LINE UP, REJECTS!
Boots on the swamp!
Time for the national dance of detainment…
The BORDER SHUFFLE.”
[Verse 1 – Fast-talking narrator]
Welcome to the checkpoint, tuck in your socks
Snakes in the trees and a drone in the rocks
ICE got a TikTok now, doin’ a dance
With a stun gun beat and a federal stance
One hop left if your visa expired
Two hops back if your cousin got fired
Slide to the right, there’s a cage in the sand
Now clap four times for the Department of the Land
[Hook – Chant/Sample]
🎵
Shuffle to the left, don’t trip on the wire
Shuffle to the right, that’s a swamp pit fire
Dip, duck, dive — don’t mess up
Alligator Alcatraz:
YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SH*T UP
[Verse 2 – Female border agent voice, aggressive]
“Freeze! Put that burrito DOWN!”
This ain’t no playground, this a red-state clown town
Laser fence, hoverboard guard dogs
Warden got a gold badge made of hot dogs
We don’t use keys, we use reality shows
You get a court date if the wheel of misfortune goes
Detention’s now hosted by Guy Fieri
Winner gets a bus pass — loser gets buried
[Hook – Group Shout with beat drop]
🎵
Jump if your passport’s fake
Stomp if the border’s a big mistake
Wiggle like a snake on the gov’t payroll
Dance like your life on a swamp patrol
[Bridge – Whisper growl / satire monologue]
They got dance cards, RFID chips
Disney+ wristbands and gator whip clips
Freedom costs five TikToks and a vape
And a moonwalk move if you want that escape
[Breakdown – Drill cadence, stomping beat]
Left, left, right, freeze
Swipe that ID or we’ll check your knees
Dance it out — it’s America’s new game
“Are you legal, or just insane?”
[Final Hook – Full-blown satirical chaos]
🎵
Shuffle to the rhythm of a broken law
Do the detainment twerk while you dodge the claw
Border Patrol got a halftime show
With flamethrowers, drones, and a big red bow
[Outro – Deadpan voice + echo FX]
Alligator Alcatraz.
Where every dance step could be your last.
And remember, folks…
YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SH*T UP.
Dead_Love_Drive
