🎧 [Intro – devilish lo-fi beat with distant moans and fire crackling]
📢 “Welcome to the pit of no chill…”
🔥 “Where the only breeze... is your own regrets.”
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🎤 [Verse 1 – sweaty suffering, raunchy tone]
My AC broke, now I'm sweatin’ sins,
Balls stickin’ hard like they fused to my skin.
Icebox froze like Elsa had a stroke,
Now I’m roastin’ in boxers, smellin' like smoke. 🥵
I opened the vent — Satan winked,
Said, “Welcome down here, time to cook that stink.”
I’m bakin’, shakin’, no chill in sight,
Even my shadows got pit stains tonight. 🫠
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🎵 [Chorus – gospel funk choir but filthy]
🎶 Satan’s anus — feel the burn,
🎶 No breeze, just cheeks that churn.
🎶 I called HVAC, they said “Nah fam,”
🎶 So now I’m grillin’ like a damn ham.
🎶 Hell’s kitchen? Nah, that’s my bed,
🎶 Sweatin’ so bad I melted my head.
🎶 No relief, just heat and shame,
🎶 In Satan’s butt — I stake my claim. 🔥
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🎤 [Verse 2 – pure filth and desperation]
Cranked the fan — it just blew despair,
Even the walls got pubes in the air.
I laid on tile, moanin’ slow,
My nipples whistled like a deathblow.
DoorDash came, said “Damn, you good?”
I was steamin’ like cheap Taco Bell food.
Thermostat read "YOU GONNA DIE,"
Even Lucifer yelled “Bro turn it to high!”
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🎵 [Bridge – sexy breakdown gone wrong]
🎵 She said “come over” — I said “I’m wet,”
🎵 But not the good kind — the swampy sweat.
🎵 My sheets slid off, my ass stuck tight,
🎵 Like grilled cheese on a Friday night. 🧀🍑
🎵 No ice, no chill, just moans and screams,
🎵 I’m havin’ wet dreams from radiator beams.
🎵 Even Satan’s farts felt cold to me…
🎵 And that’s when I knew…
🎵 I’d joined the AC-dead elite. 😵💫
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🎵 [Final Chorus – full demonic funk choir]
🎶 Satan’s anus — blowin’ flames,
🎶 Sweat drips down my taint in waves.
🎶 Fried my brain, nuked my soul,
🎶 Even my fridge said “I’m on parole.” 🥵
🎶 Call the priest, exorcise this heat,
🎶 Or I’m sleepin’ naked in the damn street.
🎶 No cool air, just cheeks and fire,
🎶 Welcome to hell… hope you brought a dryer. 💨
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🧻 [Outro – quiet groans, fire crackles, melting ice FX]
📜 “Thus he suffered… in the inferno of a busted coil…”
📢 “And in the Book of HVAC, it is written:
‘Blessed are the cool… for they shall never stick to vinyl.’”
💦💀 “RIP, my swampy soldier.”
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