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You signed your name on the dotted line

Ya Didn’t think much of it ahead of time

I met your dad on the pitchers mound

I must’ve shook every muhfuggin hand in town

And I’m well liked by all of my peers

Im probably the only grand slam champ here

And I can never tell if I’m ready to fight or fuck

But guess what?

I hit home runs

I like cold beer

You signed your name that’s why you’re here

But you’re in luck

Because it’s me

You’re favorite country boy fantasy

We’ll stay up late

we’ll kill some ducks

And at some point were gonna fuck

If theres a problem you can hit Wendy on her line

Now tell me why’d you sign your name on the dotted line?

Well I was pissed that I even came

My Dad dragged me out to a peckers game

I saw you standing there singing your song and by the third time you played it we all sang along

My dad introduced you to me and you asked for my autograph

How the fuck was I supposed it was a trap

You hit home runs

You like cold beer

You’ve told me ten times once I’ve been here

Can I go home? Whats the point of the razor wire?

And who put so many logs on the fire?

How are you our hometown hero Tyler

You hit home runs

I hit home runs

You like cold beer

So fuckin what?

You’ve housed forty eight since I’ve been here

Well Lucky for you, I’m tee tew

Reach out my hand and say “it’s nice to meet you”

Do I need to get Tony the enforcer onto you?

You signed a legal binding document for what you’re bout to do

This has been a night with Tyler two

(a night with Tyler tew)

Nice talk!

You’re gonna have to me your titties now