All I don’t want for Christmas

Verse 1

I don’t need the high-note screaming,

I don’t need the diva glow.

Every store keeps blasting Mariah,

And I just can’t take one more show.

Every aisle, every station,

That same jingle hits my ear…

And if I hear that whistle tone,

I’m out the door ’til New Year.

Pre-Chorus

All the speakers start to shake,

All the windows start to cry.

I can’t escape that Christmas song

No matter how I try.

Chorus

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.

No more runs that pierce the sky-ah.

Turn the volume way down low,

Before my sanity lets go.

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.

Please, I’m beggin’ you — just try a

Different playlist this year,

’Cause I can’t take one more cheer.

Verse 2

Every checkout line is screaming,

Every mall is way too loud.

And the minute that voice kicks in,

People gather like a crowd.

I’m just trying to buy some wrapping,

Maybe grab a snack or two…

But then she belts another run

And shatters aisle twenty-two.

Pre-Chorus

Yeah, the holidays are fun,

But I’ve got one simple plea:

Can we make it through December

With at least one song Mariah-free?

Chorus

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.

Not that song — Lord, not that choir.

Every year it hits my brain

Like a candy-coated train.

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.

Even Santa would retire

If he had to hear that track

On loop ’til he came back.

Bridge

Oh, I get she’s iconic,

And the world adores her voice,

But after thirty Christmases,

Do we really have a choice?

I’m not asking for a miracle,

Just some breathing room to hear

One more song that isn’t hers

Before we hit next year.

Chorus

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.

Yeah, that whistle takes me higher—

Straight into a meltdown cry

As it echoes miles high.

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.

Give those speakers a good rest…

’Cause I’m begging you, my dear:

All I don’t want for Christmas… is Mariah.