Before I die just know and remember

Lived all my life tryin’ to get around Grand Passerole,

Storm clouds chasin’ me like they was hired to take my soul.

Weather program sayin’ fifteen, seventeen miles per hour,

But wind can’t move a man once he finally finds his power.

Black chalk on the porch rail whisperin’ truth I never knew —

Says, “Son, the miles don’t matter when the road runs through you.”

Been playin’ ping pong with grenades just to feel my heartbeat spark,

Tryin’ to rope a sunrise standin’ knee-deep in the dark.

But the life I made is good… good… so terrific,

Took a busted-up dream and somehow turned it into somethin’ mythic.

Yeah, I crawled through hell, but hell taught me I ain’t meant to break,

If you can walk through fire, you can love through any ache.

Yeah, the life I made is good…

Good…

So terrific.

⸻

Black chalk says this, like a rock that learned to talk,

Tells me, “Boy, don’t rush your destiny — just walk.”

Becky, I love you — if you don’t believe it, think not,

But when you get ready to roll, girl, hold tight to the top of your heart.

Big love, pop not, world turns even when we stop,

Cocked up, business drop — but love stays when the noise gets hot.

Don’t talk about that shit, I love him too,

But cross that line and his ass get DJ Screwed.

I come through it like a bad name — beluga boogaloo,

And when I’m around, let it matter —

Even hit him in the groin if I gotta make the truth shatter through.

⸻

Yeah, this world will bend you, twist you,

Try to paint your sky in fear,

But the chalk writes what the heart hides,

And I finally learned to hear.

⸻

Yeah, the life I made is good… good… so terrific,

Took pain and turned it into somethin’ wild, strange, and mystic.

Storms come swingin’ hard, but they can’t knock down what I became,

If you survive the thunder, you ain’t never livin’ the same.

Yeah, the life I made is good…

Good…

So terrific.

Listen up, my little ladies…

Breauna. Rihuana. Londin. Paris. Heaven.

This part ain’t polished.

This part is fact.

It’s fact—I know the truth.

I wasn’t always there…

Not physically.

But mentally—

Breauna, you been inside me every second.

Rihuana, every breath I took had your name in it.

Londin, Paris, Heaven—y’all never left my chest.

Pardon me if I didn’t.

If I couldn’t.

If I should have been there and I wasn’t.

That weight don’t sleep.

It wake up whisperin’ Breauna… Rihuana…

It ache sound like Londin cryin’… Paris quiet… Heaven askin’ why.

The tears that I cried—

(and still cry, day after day)

Longin’ just to see each one of your faces…

Breauna’s eyes when she think I ain’t lookin’.

Rihuana’s laugh when she try to be strong.

Londin standin’ tall before she even knew she had to.

Paris carryin’ fire she didn’t ask for.

Heaven glowin’ like hope with no effort at all.

They couldn’t replace the painful patience

Daddy had to endure.

I even hoped I would’ve died some nights.

That’s the truth.

Not ‘cause I didn’t love you—

But ‘cause I loved all of you so much

It hurt to breathe without you.

I cried…

And tried…

And cried again…

Asked God questions I didn’t want answered.

Stared at ceilings that never talked back.

Please forgive me.

⸻

Some nights I sat with the lights off,

Sayin’ your names like prayer beads:

Breauna… Rihuana… Londin… Paris… Heaven…

Over and over till my chest gave out.

I wasn’t strong every day.

I was human every night.

Regret taught me your value

In the sharpest possible light.

⸻

Yeah, this world will bend you, twist you, paint your sky in fear,

But the chalk writes what the heart hides—I finally learned to hear.

Breauna—love yourself first.

Rihuana—love yourself first.

Londin—love yourself first.

Paris—love yourself first.

Heaven—love yourself first.

You will do the same.

⸻

I’m still here.

Still learnin’.

Still lovin’ you louder than my failures.

Still puttin’ one foot in front of the other,

Tryin’ to be the man my absence promised I’d become.

Breauna, if my silence ever felt like neglect,

Know it was never indifference.

Rihuana, if you ever questioned your worth,

Borrow mine until you build your own.

Londin, if the world feels heavy early,

It’s ‘cause you strong enough to carry it.

Paris, if anger ever knock, answer it with truth.

Heaven, never forget—you are already enough.

⸻

Love yourself first…

Even when daddy messed up.

Love yourself first…

Even when life don’t explain itself.

⸻

Yeah, the life I made is good… good… so terrific,

Not ‘cause I was perfect—but ‘cause I stayed with it.

I survived myself so I could stand and say:

Breauna, I’m here now.

Rihuana, I ain’t runnin’ away.

Londin, I’m still learnin’.

Paris, I’m still fightin’.

Heaven, I’m still yours.

⸻

If love could walk backwards,

I’d meet you sooner.

I’d sit longer.

I’d hold tighter.

Until then…

Hear me now.

Feel me now