Petie

Pete’s trying to turn the press into a pledge drive. Sorry, we don’t do autocrat karaoke.”

- “Media gag orders from Pete Hegseth? That’s like asking a smoke alarm to whisper.”

- “Who does Pete think he is—Editor-in-Chief of the Ministry of Truth?”

- “Too many chiefs, not enough receipts. Journalism isn’t a campfire story—it’s a spotlight.”

- “Pete wants the press to sign a loyalty oath? Cute. Next he’ll be handing out matching uniforms and synchronized talking points.”