Love this Pain

Sixth grade rings in a two-week dream,

You smiled and I thought it meant something real.

You kissed someone else before the bell,

And I learned how quick love can steal.

A mercy “yes,” a hallway laugh,

A week was enough to make me believe,

And enough to never feel the same.

Ninth grade came and you sat on knees,

Said I was jealous, said “don’t make a scene.”

I called it love, you called it a game,

And left me talking to smoke and shame.

Another few months, another goodbye,

Your lips on someone else, I didn’t even cry.

Just stared at the ceiling, learning the tone

Of the word “alone.”

They all said they loved me —

But it felt like a dare.

Each promise a blade,

Each touch a tear.

I keep giving pieces,

They keep walking away.

How many times can a heart

Learn to break the same way?

One tried to apologize, a poem in hand,

I felt something real, at least someone planned.

Another said we were never together,

After months of holding my hand.

One lasted months and killed the sound

Of what my heart once was.

Now I’m a ghost in my own skin,

Every “I love you” sounds paper-thin.

My chest still cracks when I try to sing,

But I scream the words — maybe someone will hear.

They all said they loved me —

But it felt like decay.

Every kiss a goodbye

In a new kind of way.

I keep giving pieces,

They keep walking away.

And I don’t know if I’ve got

Anything left to save.

If love’s still out there, it’s not for me,

Just echoes and empty bedsheets.

I used to dream of someone true

Now I just dream I make it through