[Intro]
I put a ghost pepper
in my shopping cart
right next to
my broken heart (oops)
[Verse 1]
Midnight aisle
hoodie, crocs
Reading cereal boxes
like they're ancient prophecies
Self-checkout
judging me
for buying six cheeses
and anxiety
[Pre-Chorus]
Phone at 3%
existential threat
Bar code won't scan
now I'm dripping sweat (why!)
[Chorus]
Ghost pepper in a shopping cart
bad idea with a loyalty card
I sneeze once
spray chaos through the mart (achoo!)
Manager thinks I'm casting spells
kids are screaming, “it kinda smells!”
Worst main character
in this whole Walmart
(hey! hey! hey!)
[Verse 2]
Grabbed oat milk
by mistake
I’m too deep
to hit the brakes
Sample lady
made me taste
something “plant-based”
now my soul’s misplaced
[Pre-Chorus]
Intercom sings
“cleanup please”
they’re chasing me down
with baguette police (run!)
[Chorus]
Ghost pepper in a shopping cart
bad idea with a loyalty card
I sneeze twice
fireworks in frozen tarts (boom!)
Security cam gets my bad side
tripping over racks of discount slides
I become the rumor
in the coupon aisle
(oh wow)
[Bridge]
[Beat drops, filtered chipmunk vocal]
I scan the pepper
price says “WHY?”
The register screams
“I hope you’re fine”
Random stranger
gives a thumbs-up sign
“You’re the weirdest dream
I’ve had tonight”
[Chorus]
Ghost pepper in a shopping cart
legend status on the chaos chart
I strut out
like it’s high-end art (strut!)
Next week I’ll be back again
same crocs, same time, unmedicated brain
Midnight mascot
of the discount mart
(yeah, that’s me)