Crossfire

I wake up bent, jaw locked tight

Bills on the counter, pain in the light

Trying to be calm for the little ones

While the same old fight keeps firing guns

I fold my clothes, I rinse my face

Act like this house still knows its place

But every room got a crack in the wall

And I hear my name when the frames all fall

I’m running on fumes

Still showing up

Holding my breath

When enough ain’t enough

I don’t want their hearts

In the middle of this

I’m trying my best

With my hands like this

Keep the kids out the crossfire

I’m falling apart

But I’m still here tonight

Keep the kids out the crossfire

If I lose my mind

Let me lose it in pride

She says one thing, I say one back

Then the whole damn day goes off the track

Toys on the floor, dishes in the sink

I’m too damn tired to even think

I kiss their heads, I tie their shoes

Then I swallow hard like I always do

On the drive back home with a heavy chest

I tell myself, “man, just do your best”

I’m running on fumes

Still showing up

Holding my breath

When enough ain’t enough

I don’t want their hearts

In the middle of this

I’m trying my best

With my hands like this

Keep the kids out the crossfire

I’m falling apart

But I’m still here tonight

Keep the kids out the crossfire

If I lose my mind

Let me lose it in pride

Maybe love got loud

Maybe time got cruel

Maybe we both got scars

We still can’t undo

But I won’t let this flame

Reach where they sleep

I’ll take the hit

So they can dream

Keep the kids out the crossfire

I’m falling apart

But I’m still here tonight

Keep the kids out the crossfire

If I lose my mind

Let me lose it in pride

Keep the kids out the crossfire

I’m tired as hell

Still I’m standing upright

Riding down the interstate, oil pressure drop so I hit the brakes , look around to make sure it’s safe, truck start stuttering lemme get my ass out the way, just like life gotta switch lanes, this is a emergency, last 4 years of my life I had a woman who wouldn’t stop hurting me , so broken and bent I need me some surgery, I’ve been going down hill, reminiscing on the days I could just pop me a pill, wanna relapse but I made a promise to myself that I never will, the old me I had to kill, there was so much blood I had to spill, I’m just keeping it real, demons inside of me , I think that I need a lobotomy, devil in my head I need to get him the fuk out of me, I hit the gym I hit some weights, I swear to god I’m doing whatever it takes, out of my life yeah I’ve cut the snakes, past 4 years yeah what a mistake, except for my kids their fuking great, I love em the same, I know the blood is different that is running through their veins , it don’t change a thing, I love you both, DJ and Clover their is no distance that I wouldn’t go, I hate your momma and that is for show, for yall I tried to hang on but I gotta let go, I will see yall on down the road , I’m sorry babies but daddy just has to go, I will be back, she cannot keep you forever and that’s a fact , I’m trying to be the bigger person I hope you can see