[Verse 1]
Woke up in a bath gone cold
Heart beating like it’s made of glass
Staring at the ceiling, heavy as stone
Thinking how long this feeling gonna last
Venom in my throat when I swallow words
Tongue tied up, yeah the silence hurts
Every little thought like a paper cut
Tell myself “I’m fine” but I know that’s dirt
[Pre-Chorus]
Scroll through friends, but I freeze on names
Type out “help” then erase the frame
Why’s it feel like I gotta be tough
Why’s it feel like I’m never enough
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna suffer in the dark like this
I been seeing my own blood in my thoughts I wish
I could say what’s stuck in my chest right now
So I’m speaking up, I’m speaking up, can you hear me out
I don’t wanna suffer in the dark like this
Heart so loud but my lips just twist
If I break this silence, will you hear me shout
So I’m speaking up, I’m speaking up, can you hear me out
[Verse 2]
Late night, room’s a mess like my brain
Empty bottles lined up with my shame
Friends hit, “You good?” I just say “yeah”
But they don’t see the storm in my head
Every bruise on my past still fresh
Every word that they said still pressed
Thought about the cut that would end this pain
Then I saw my mom’s face in the frame
[Pre-Chorus]
Thumb on call, heartbeat in my ear
Tears on the screen, every drop is fear
But I’m tired of pretending I’m tough
Tired of dying just to act “enough”
[Chorus]
I don’t wanna suffer in the dark like this
I been seeing my own blood in my thoughts I wish
I could say what’s stuck in my chest right now
So I’m speaking up, I’m speaking up, can you hear me out
I don’t wanna suffer in the dark like this
Heart so loud but my lips just twist
If I break this silence, will you hear me shout
So I’m speaking up, I’m speaking up, can you hear me out
[Bridge]
[low vocal register]
Told my brother “I’m not okay” (not okay)
Told my friend “I been lost for days”
Told my mirror “you deserve some grace”
Let the tears run down, let ’em wash my face
[spoken, almost whispered]
“Can you stay on the line while I catch my breath?”
“Yeah, I’m scared of the dark in my own head”
But every word I say pulls me from the edge
Every truth I spill stitching up the threads
[crescendo]
Venom turning back into a voice
Pain still here but I got a choice
[Chorus]