Verse 1
Joanna struttin’ through the desert like she owns all the cacti,
Sits on that stone wall lookin’ smug, legs crossed—“Yeah, fight me.”
Sun’s goin’ down dramatic, mountains posing in the back,
Even the saguaros whisper, “She’s unhinged… but we respect that.”
Thanksgiving hits the table—salmon in a landlocked state,
Vegetables baptized in bacon: “Pilgrims, GET ON MY PLATE.”
Everybody chewing politely while thinking “What is this?”
But they shut up real quick ‘cause Joanna don’t miss.
⸻
Pre-Chorus
She’s laughing, she’s glowing,
She’s slaying, she’s—hold on—
Did her MOM just say
She’s never used a what now??
⸻
Chorus
Oh the rocks watched Joanna
Cause the rocks saw it all—
The salmon, the sunset,
And her mom’s sexual downfall.
When she pulled that card like,
“Clitoris… what is this word?”
The whole table ascended—
Even Jesus said, “I HEARD.”
Oh the rocks nearly cracked
From the shockwave of fear—
‘Cause Joanna’s mom said
Twelve words that ended the year.
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Verse 2
Cards Against Humanity—y’all thought you were prepared,
Then mom drops a bomb so bold even the universe stared.
She holds up that card, squints, adjusts her glasses slow:
“Clitor… clitta… clito—honey what is this, though?”
Joanna’s soul LEFT her body,
Cousins choking on their wine,
Someone fell off a chair,
Time stopped—divine.
Meanwhile Joanna’s thinking:
“I crossed state lines for THIS??
How do you explain anatomy
When Thanksgiving’s mid-bite bliss?”
⸻
Pre-Chorus
But the chaos keeps spinning,
Mom’s innocence on display—
And Joanna’s like,
“Universe… NOT TODAY.”
⸻
Chorus
Oh the rocks watched the meltdown
Like ancient desert kings—
Judging your whole family
For not knowing certain things.
In another timeline
Your mom’s a tantric sage—
But not this one, Joanna—
Here she’s skipping that page.
And the rocks kept on watching
With that silent stone grin—
While your family discovered
Where the comedy begins.
⸻
Bridge (sassy whisper)
Maybe all this chaos
Is your ancestral rite…
To bring knowledge to the table
One inappropriate card at a time.
⸻
Final Chorus
Oh the rocks, those rocks,
Laughing quietly inside—
They’ve seen rattlesnakes, monsoons,
But YOUR family? Wild ride.
Arizona held its breath
When your mom read that card—
Even the saguaros whispered,
“Well damn… this is HARD.”
Yeah the rocks, those rocks,
Will retell this for years—
“The day Joanna’s mom asked
About the clitoris… oh dear.”
HypnoticOvertone644
