don’t kill yourself
not before the shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time,
not before you see a tiny dog
carrying a stick twice its size
like it has something to prove to the world.
Dont do it before the smell of rain hits you through an open window, or the perfect song
finding you at 2am and understanding everything
you never learned how to say.
don’t leave before the soft moments: the warm blankets from the dryer, and us laughing so hard your stomach hurts,
Or someone reaching for your hand without thinking twice about it.
don’t kill yourself
because there are still people that you haven’t met yet who are going to hear your laugh and decide they want it in their life forever.
because one day
someone will look at you
like you are not difficult to love,
like staying was the best thing
you ever could have done.
stay for the thunderstorm naps,
for badly made midnight snacks,
for sunsets that look unreal,
for the future version of you
who will someday breathe easier
than you do now.
don’t kill yourself
because i still need you here
years from now, fixing my veil with shaky hands, trying not to cry while walking down the aisle beside me as my bridesmaid.
i need your laugh in the dressing room, your terrible last-minute advice, your voice telling me
everything will be okay, and your comforting presence.
you are part of futures
you haven’t even seen yet.
stay because healing is slow,
messy, embarrassing, human.
stay because your story
has not reached the part
where things begin to soften.
stay for one more joke,
one more morning,
one more stupid little reason.
stay because the world
would notice your absence
in a thousand quiet ways. I would notice.
and stay because, despite everything, there is still something beautiful
waiting for you here.
Stay because i love you
