Can’t Chang the past

Some days you wake up

And ask yourself why

Heads in a mess all frazzled inside

Chest feels heavy like your going to the sky

Can’t count the tears you’ve cried

Can’t change the past even if you tried

Pain hurt and fear

Bruises broken bones even from the people you held dear

Try so hard to do the best you can

No help no support no advice given

Making your own way through just trying to make a living

Can’t count the tears you cried

Can’t change the past even if you tried

Hands put on you, the little ones to

The abuse you thought you’d left behind

The damage done to more then just your mind

If I could know then what I know now

I’d turn back the clock and erase it somehow

Can’t count the tears you cried

Can’t change the past even if you tried

Spent years repairing the trauma buried deep

Learning strategies and parenting, going through intervention and protection

So my children I could keep

Mostly grown out on their own

Never to be the same

Though I didn’t do it my choices were to blame

Not knowing any better brings so much shame

Can’t count the tears you cried

Can’t change the past even if you tried

Everyday I wake up I try my very best

Each day is different not one ever the same

Some i feel I'm winning others I need rest

Here I am still standing firm on my ground

In a world that just keeps trying to tear me down