Divided Heart

[Intro - distant piano, reversed guitar swells, low ambient pad]
A light flickers in the hall
I whisper, Father, through the dark
And hear my own unsettled heart

[Verse 1 - palm-muted guitar, tight bass, restrained kick and snare]
I say I trust You, then I grip control
I sing of grace, then hide my soul
I kneel in need, then drift by noon
I beg for dawn, then love the moon
I hate the sin I still repeat
The same old chains, the same defeat
I call You Abba, still I run
Afraid of what Your love may undo

[Pre-Chorus - guitars open, toms rise, lead line swells]
I read the words and feel no fire
I try to pray, but just grow tired
I want a sign, a voice, a spark
While You keep asking for my heart

[Chorus - full distorted guitars, wide bass, crashing cymbals]
This divided heart keeps pulling me apart
I want Your will, but I protect my wants
I reach for grace with shaking hands
Then fear the cost of Your commands
If faith is more than how I feel
Then teach me how to stay here still
I'm still right here, ashamed and scarred
Trying to trust You with this divided heart

[Verse 2 - wider guitars, heavier bass movement, driving drums]
I see strong saints and shrink inside
Dress up my doubt and call it pride
I raise my hands while feeling numb
Smile in church, then come undone
I chase relief more than Your face
Use holy words to hide my state
Conviction cuts, condemnation shouts
And I can't always sort them out

[Pre-Chorus - guitars build higher, toms swell, lead climbs]
When life gets calm, I drift away
Then run back close on harder days
I say You're Lord, then choose my way
And wonder why I feel so far away

[Chorus - full distorted guitars, wide bass, crashing cymbals, layered vocal lift]
This divided heart keeps pulling me apart
I want Your peace, but cling to what I guard
I cry for help through shame and sin
Then build the walls right back again
If faith is trust when sight is gone
Then keep me when my strength is done
I'm still right here, though hope feels scarred
Trying to trust You with this divided heart

[Bridge - stripped piano, sub bass, sparse guitar texture]
Am I in love
Or just in need
Do I want You
Or just relief
Take my time
Take my plans
Teach my soul
To open its hands

[Breakdown - screamed wall of sound, crushing guitars, pounding drums]
I'm tired of failing
Tired of masks
Tired of promise
Without the acts
Not just my crisis
Not one more start
Take every minute
And break this heart

[Final Chorus - layered cleans, scream doubles, sustained lead melody]
This divided heart has war beneath its skin
I want You close, but fight You from within
I reach for mercy, fall again
Then beg You not to let this end
If You are Father, keep me near
In doubt, in dryness, dread, and fear
I'm still right here, though torn apart
Trying to trust You with this divided heart

[Outro - ringing harmonics, fading piano, long room reverb]
A light still flickers in the hall
I say, Father, through it all
And in the silence, still I call

Hard emo rock, atmospheric piano, crushing guitars, huge drums, fragile cleans, desperate screams, faith, freefall, male