Highway 301

That waterhole uphill,

Left reason out to die.

It stole my common sense,

And drained my wallet dry.

That pretty girl I met,

Hung on my arm three nights,

Until her husband came,

And knocked out all my lights.

He threw me out the door,

And clocked me in the eye,

Then chased me down the road,

Until the law came by.

I ran, and disappeared.

When they arrested Clem.

I saw the blue lights flash,

And he went home with them.

I heard his pretty wife;

Her voice was calling me.

You'd think I'd run by now,

But I went home with Dee.

Well we were making sparks,

When in came through the door,

Her other boyfriend, Zeb,

And I was out once more.

I made my way through woods,

So thick I couldn't tell,

If I was close to home,

Or on my way to hell.

I stumbled out relieved,

To see a stretch of road,

But I was lost and tired,

So I took off a load.

I stretched myself right out,

Too weary and depressed,

To keep myself awake,

And took a little rest.

I saw Clem in my dreams;

We shared a cell in jail.

He grinned, and then he kicked,

My grimy, worn-out tail.

The last thing I recall,

Is hearing Dee exclaim:

"Oh Zeb, you're such a man!

Where is your sense of shame?"

And then a rooster crowed.

I saw the crack of dawn,

And felt the morning dew,

As I began to yawn.

I woke up in a ditch,

On highway 301.

The bottle in my hand,

Said I'd had too much fun.

My greasy, filthy hair,

Stuck up and out sideways.

My britches, ripped below,

Let all my glory blaze,

I tried to stand but fell;

My eyes still wandered free,

And suddenly the ground,

Reached up and clobbered me.