[Verse 1]
Tiny room
yellin’ in the hallway
Ashtray breath
heavy boots in the doorway
He’d swing first
I’d lean in, say “hit me”
Little bro hiding
eyes wide, couldn’t fix it
I learned early
be the shield, not the child
Took the belt, took the blame
tried to smile
Say it didn’t hurt
while my spine screamed stop
Counted every crack
on the ceilin’ ‘til it dropped
He said
“Men don’t cry”
till it stuck in my teeth
So I buried every question
way down underneath
Had a plan in my head
just to vanish, be gone
But I stayed for my brother
had to hang, hold on
[Chorus]
I’m the quiet type
hurt don’t leave my mouth
Wear this anger like armor
when I’m bleeding out
Every scar that I hide
got a story behind
I took the hits for my brother
now I swing at my mind
I’m the quiet type
all this storm in my chest
Only language I learned
was to shout and to flex
If you ask how I feel
I just shrug, say “I’m fine”
I survived that house
but it lives in my spine
[Verse 2]
Grew up fast
now I’m grown with the same glare
Jaw locked tight
can’t talk, only flame there
Love feel strange
like a threat, like a trap
Touch my shoulder too soft
and I’m ready to snap
I been starin’ at the mirror
like “Who you?”
Same eyes as the man
that I grew through
Every time my voice rise
I hear his in my throat
So I choke it back down
let the silence go cold
Had nights on the bridge
leanin’ over the rail
Thinkin’ one little step
and I’d finally exhale
Then I see lil’ bro’s face
flash right in my head
Can’t teach him to fight ghosts
if I’m layin’ there dead
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
[low vocal register]
I ain’t healed
I’m here
That’s all I got
this year
I breathe
I shake
I stay
I wake
[spoken, almost off-mic]
If I can live through that
I can learn how to feel
I can learn how to speak
Let my hands stay still
[Chorus]