The end

Years have passed, yet I reread the old pages. Nothing really changes, everything stays the same. I think I'm getting better, but I always end up sinking.

People call me wrong, a bad person. These are words spoken by my family, not by a random lady I met on the street. They say I'm stingy, dull, and careless. True words, from a certain point of view.

But when they say I believe I'm always right and never wrong, I wonder if they've ever looked at me, you know? Do they really believe that? Yet in my entire life, I've never believed I was right, and that's why I know it's the only way.

I need help, because I'm alone. I wish they'd look at me and not just tell me what's wrong. I'm despicable and I disappoint people. They've never changed their minds. I'm a copy of the bad people they know. They're scared of my future by looking at theirs. I'm not me, I'm just a collection of mistakes, and I'm doing nothing to change them...

If I ask if anyone has ever tried to understand what I feel, they say I'm just lying and not trying.

I'm lazy, I don't say no, but I don't live this way because I want to. "Just excuses, that's what they are," they say, looking down on me. I don't do anything, that's what it seems, my life is fleeting and dull.

I'm scared because I can't walk. I feel lost and I know I'm sinking. I want my family by my side, but I know I can't scream, call, or beg.

"Just excuses, stop whining." It's always like that, there's nothing else to say.

In conclusion, I'm a bad person.

And that's the end.