The Sawbones’ Shanty

(Verse 1)
Old Doc is blind as a tavern bat,
He’s drunk on the ether and smells like a rat!
He used a rusty spoon to dig out a ball,
Then left the poor gunner with no legs at all!
(Chorus)
He’ll saw off your arm if you’ve got a cough,
If it’s still attached, he’ll hack it right off!
He’s got a dull blade and a bucket of gin,
God help the poor sailor the Doc ushers in!
(Verse 2)
The Boatswain came in with a splintery knee,
The Doc took his ear and then let out a plea!
He sewed up a wound with a piece of old twine,
And left a brass button inside of his spine!
(Chorus)
He’ll saw off your arm if you’ve got a cough,
If it’s still attached, he’ll hack it right off!
He’s got a dull blade and a bucket of gin,
God help the poor sailor the Doc ushers in!
(Verse 3)
He tried to fix teeth with a hammer and nail,
The screaming was heard by a passing blue whale!
He poured boiling tar on a patch of the scurvy,
And left the poor Captain all topsy and turvy!
(Outro)
So if you get sick, just jump in the sea,
It’s safer than Doc and his surgery!
He’s a butcher, a hack, and a menace to life,
So stay far away from the man with the knife!

Fast accordion-led shanty, wheezing bellows, sea salt folk, rhythmic minor chords, gruff tavern vocals