I don’t live I survived

I didn’t survive

Don’t tell me I’m strong like that’s a prize.

Don’t fake praise when the truth ain’t sweet,

I ain’t brave, I just refused to leave.

Endurance ain’t a badge, it’s a chain,

Survival ain’t strength, it’s staying in pain.

It’s punishment breathin’ with nowhere to go,It’s living through hell just movin’ slow.

I was born wrong or that’s what she said.

Mama cursed my name before I bled.

Called me a slip up, the fix that failed,

The abortion that didn’t get mailed.

I wore them words like a second skin,

Still peelin’ ‘em off, can’t shed the sin.

She ain’t love me, just let me exist,

Like a roach in the corner she couldn’t resist.Dinner was guilt, shame was dessert,

Smile through her shakes, through all the hurt.Used my name for that government check,But I never saw a dollar, only neglect.

Silence fed me more than bread,

Broken glass where I laid my head.

She wasn’t a mom, she was a void,

With hands like smoke cold, annoyed.

My pops? Nah, fuck him too.

Lived down the street but never came through.Dropped me at Grandma’s like return-to-sender,Like I was a glitch, just another reminder.Never said “I love you,” never tried,Pride louder than a newborn’s cry.I wasn’t his I was failure’s face,

And he ran from it like it ain’t got a place.

Then came secrets like ghosts in chains,

Siblings I never got to name.

A brother I barely got to meet

Now he’s six feet, silence deep.

But my sister? She stayed.

Only one in that storm who never strayed.

That’s love, yeah, but it scares me more,

‘Cause everything else I touched turned war.

Sixteen she drove me out.

No bag, no word, just closed her mouth.

Dropped me like trash on my girl’s porch,

Didn’t even flinch as she turned and torched

Whatever was left of the “mom” I knew,

She vanished, and I knew it was through.

You ever get told you’re disposable

By the person who’s supposed to hold you whole?Couch to couch, stairwell dreams,

Lying ‘bout being fine silent screams.

No one checked, no one asked,

Invisible kid behind a mask.

Till prison came like déjà vu,

Walls cold but that ain’t new.

At least there they don’t fake the care,

Ain’t no hugs hiding knives in there.

Got out. Guess who showed up fake?

The same woman who let me break.

Talkin’ “I did my best,” like I forgot

She did her worst, and this is the rot.

Look at me like I’m the one ungrateful,

Like I ain’t starved while she got High on fumes, watching TV,While I learned the sound of an empty belly.She plays victim now ain’t that rich?But trauma don’t forget who threw the switch.And through the ashes of all that flame,One light stayed lit, one name:Finn.My dog. My brother. My truth.

Only soul that stayed since youth.

When I had nothin’, he curled up tight,

Shielded my thoughts through the coldest nights.Didn’t care ‘bout the pain or the past,

Just looked at me like I could last.

When I broke down, he held still,

Love without words, warmth I feel.

He saved my life no metaphor.

I was one breath from a closing door.

And he laid there like, “Nah, stay here,”

Like I was someone worth being near.

No judgment, no fear,Just that tail, that look, that silent cheer.So don’t preach to me ‘bout love and blood,If you never slept hungry in a flood.Never held on with teeth to a thread,Fighting ghosts that live in your head.The only love I trust walks on four,

He’s the reason I ain’t ash on the floor.

Still, they call me broken, a beast,

Too damaged, a threat, at least.

But I wasn’t born with these scars and flames They forged me with guilt and names.I’m not the monster—they just don’t like the mirror,I reflect their sins a little bit clearer.I’m not healed. I’m still cracked.

But I’m standing and they hate that.

‘Cause I’m not dead. I still remain.

And that alone…Should haunt their name.