Parents, Siblings, Friends, and Family. I have all of those but one friend. I don't have any friends and I guess that's my fault because I don't want friends I don't need them. At least that's what I tell myself mama tells me that I need friends to experience life but to be honest I don't want a life. I know you only live once but the thing is while I have amazing parents I make my life terrible not them but ME. I have anxiety and depression my parents know about the anxiety but they don't know about depression and they don't need to. They already think that there's always something wrong which there is me and myself always hiding what I feel and keeping it inside. The thing is people do this a lot and while it isn't healthy do you think I care? I do this because I don't know how to express my feelings and I don't know what I feel, to be honest. Sometimes I wish I didn't have feelings. Sometimes I wish I was dead but I can't be because of them, I have to be there for them, I can't leave them broken like I already am what kind of person would I be if I did? People always judge you no matter what you could be the happiest person alive and there will be that one person that says why are you so happy you freak or the one who acts sad all the time people will say that your a depressed freak but the thing is we are all depressed at one point in our lives. We all feel things that we wish we didn't, wish that we could take away the pain, and wish that we didn't feel that way. People will tell you how to get rid of it but there isn't a way it stays with you forever and while you may hide it one day it will come and it will hurt even more. People will tell you to live your life but how are you supposed to live your life when you have all these thoughts and emotions coursing through your mind and heart.
