Heaven Wasn't Ready

I could see the gates...

But I turned away...

I ran from the fire, straight into the cold

Built my kingdom on bones, just to watch it erode

Said my prayers through the static, half-hoping they'd stick

But my hands pulled the trigger, so the blame is thick

Chasing halos like a fix, overdosing on dreams

Tried to write a confession, but I tore at the seams

Every second’s like a weight that's chained to my chest

I was so close... but I chose regret

I touched the light, but the shadows owned me

I almost crossed... but I couldn’t let go...

Heaven wasn't ready, and hell had no place

I'm caught in the silence, trapped in the space

Between who I am... and who I should be

I almost found freedom...

But freedom killed me

Sick of the mirror, sick of the shame

Carving my name in the walls of the pain

Told the devil "wait up" while I chased my fate

Found God in a bottle, but it shattered too late

I break, I heal, I fake, I feel

I scream for a moment that don't even feel real

Got a ticket to nowhere, front row seat

Yeah, I was almost saved, but the storm cut deep

I touched the light, but the dark still holds me

I almost crossed... but I couldn’t let go...

Heaven wasn't ready, and hell had no place

I'm lost in the ashes, stuck in the waste

Between who I was... and who I can't be

I almost found heaven...

But heaven lost me

I was right there...

I was RIGHT THERE!!

Built my hope on broken bones!

Laid my dreams in dying tones!

You can't save me, I won't save me —

I was almost free!!

If I had a second, would I take the fall?

If I had a reason, would I risk it all...?

Heaven wasn't ready, and hell turned away

I'm stuck in this purgatory day after day

Between who I loved... and who I betrayed

I almost got saved...

But I threw it away...

I was almost free...

But I stayed...

I stayed...