INTRO (spoken)
Aye Santa…
I been thinkin’.
I been a good boy all year
But things dont add up
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VERSE 1
Every Christmas time my parents stressed again,
Bills on the counter, December hit like ten,
Morning come, gifts under the tree,
They say “This one from Santa”—then look at me.
“And the rest from us,” yeah I peep that shit,
So Santa brought one, but y’all bought the lift?
Bike, clothes, games, lights on the house,
Santa slid through light like, “That’s all I got.”
Cookies gone, milk gone, nerves shot,
Parents smile hard but the pockets not,
I’m young but I’m startin’ to read the script,
Santa brand strong, but the math don’t fit.
---
HOOK
So Santa, why you broke every year?
Sleigh worldwide but you skim on here,
Parents maxed out, you disappear,
One gift from you, rest come from them—be clear.
Yeah Santa, what you do with the bread?
North Pole rent high or elves underpaid?
’Cause Christmas hit hard on my parents’ check,
And you coast on credit they already spent.
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VERSE 2
You got elves workin’ year-round nonstop,
Free labor, assembly line poppin’ off,
Reindeer fed, sleigh upgraded clean,
But toy budget thin when you hit our street.
Now I’m older, dots start connectin’ quick,
Santa a logo, parents do the shifts,
And let’s talk taxes—’cause here’s the twist,
My parents fund roads, schools, and your shit.
Payin’ into systems they don’t even choose,
If taxes got elves, then they payin’ you too,
So how you still broke when the IRS fed?
Santa the mascot, parents breakin’ they backs instead.
---
HOOK
So Santa, why you broke every year?
Big red suit but you vanish on tiers,
Parents foot the bill, you collect the cheer,
Mall photos paid, but you light on gifts here.
Yeah Santa, I ain’t tryna be rude,
Just askin’ questions kids eventually do,
If my parents fund the state and you too,
Maybe next Christmas you chip in, too.
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OUTRO (spoken, joking)
No hate, Santa…
I just seen the tax return.
And something not adding up.
You got flight miles
Traveling the world..
But show up with socks
Stop it