Ian...
He’s been waiting...
He’s been patient...
But he’s had enough.
He showed up clean, beard on trim
Fresh cologne and a confident grin
Wink in his step, juice in his walk
He’s not here to chat — he’s here to talk
"I bought the drinks, I danced the floor,
I held the door, what’s it all for?"
He raised his glass, looked to the sky
And screamed with soul, "It’s time I fly!"
Ian needs his d sucked,
Bassline thumpin’, fate’s been tucked
He’s polite, but he’s in a rut
Tonight's the night, unholy smut
Raise your hands, if you understand
Our boy Ian needs a loving hand
No shame, no guilt, no fear, just luck
Help this man get his — what what what?!
"S-s-s-s-sucked!"
"I-I-I-Ian!"
"Oh my god, he’s serious!"
Swipe left, swipe right, this game’s insane
But Ian’s will is hurricane
He’s not crude, he’s just direct
"Let’s talk lips — out of respect."
“This ain’t about lust, it’s about vibes.
About destiny.
About… the sacred act of reciprocation.”
Ian needs it, say it proud
Let the synths scream it loud
One man’s quest, one goal in sight
He came to party — and get things right
Ian, Ian, champion of fate
Some call it crude, but girl it’s fate
So gather ‘round, don’t leave him stuck
Tonight’s the night — he gets that suck
Sucked…
Sucked…
Sucked…