“Static in My Chest”

Wake up, same ceiling, same war in my head

Two kids asleep while I’m fighting the dread

Phone full of problems, shop full of stress

Everybody wants answers when I’ve got less

Tryna be a father, a husband, a boss

Smile through the pressure while counting the cost

Got grease on my hands, got weight on my soul

Everybody sees movement, nobody sees holes

I’m chasing GP, chasing goals every day

But the silence gets loud when the lights fade away

Team talks, invoices, training at night

Still somehow I’m losing the fight in my mind

I tell people “Rome wasn’t built in a day”

Then go home wondering if I’m okay

Cause being strong all the time gets heavy to hold

Especially when you feel old at twenty-something years old

(Pre-Chorus)

And I keep saying “I’m fine”

Like it’s stitched in my skin

But the noise in my head

Never really ends

(Chorus) female voice

I got depression in the driver seat

Anxiety riding shotgun next to me

Every turn feels like I’m losing control

But I still gotta carry the people I love

I’m tired but I can’t slow down

Too many eyes depending on me now

So I bury my pain underneath routine

While my heart screams things I never speak

(Verse 2)

I miss feeling alive, not surviving the week

Miss laughing without feeling mentally weak

Miss when affection came natural and easy

Now conversations feel tense and uneasy

I overthink silence, read into looks

One bad night got me rewriting whole books

Trying to communicate, trying not to explode

Trying not to feel like love’s growing cold

And maybe I talk too much about what I need

Maybe I bleed emotions people don’t see

But I’m scared one day we’ll wake up strangers

Living one house apart from each other in stages

There’s nights I sit outside after work

Thinking how happiness shouldn’t hurt

Thinking why life’s just bills and surviving

When did existing replace thriving?

(Bridge)

And I know I’m not perfect

I know I get loud

I know sometimes pain

Turns pride into clouds

But deep down I’m just a man

Trying not to drown

Trying to hold everybody up

While I’m breaking down

(Breakdown / Screamed style)

I DON’T WANNA JUST EXIST

I DON’T WANNA LIVE HALF-NUMB

I DON’T WANNA WAKE UP OLD

WISHING I DID MORE THAN RUN

FROM THE FEAR

FROM THE STRESS

FROM THE VOICES IN MY HEAD

FROM THE NIGHTS I LAY AWAKE

FEELING DEAD INSIDE THE BED

(Final Chorus) female voice

Depression in the driver seat

Anxiety still next to me

But I still show up every day

Even when my soul feels weak

Cause maybe strength ain’t being numb

Maybe strength is carrying on

Even when your chest feels heavy

And your whole damn world feels gone

(Outro)

So if you see me quiet

It ain’t hatred, it ain’t pride

I’m just fighting battles

That I mostly keep inside…*