Hard To Hold

[Verse 1]
I grew up dodging dishes
Words thrown harder than the plates
Called it “normal”
Called it “nothing”
Taught myself to overtake
Every feeling with a joke
Every tear with getting gone
I learned how to leave a room
Before I knew I belonged
[Chorus]
I’ve never really felt love
Not the kind that doesn’t cost
Every favor
Every secret
Every piece of me I lost
I’m tired of hiding in plain sight
Tired of being strong on cue
I just wanna be loved for who I am
While I’m still learning what is true
[Verse 2]
I say “yeah
I’m fine
Just tired”
Bite my tongue until it bleeds
’cause asking for a little comfort
Feels like pulling out my teeth
I keep a suitcase by the front door
Habits packed from other homes
Where “I’m sorry” meant “stay quiet”
And “I love you” came on loan
[Chorus]
I’ve never really felt love
Not the kind that lets me stay
When I crack
When I get quiet
When I don’t know what to say
I’m tired of earning every hug
Like it’s something to get through
I just wanna be loved for who I am
While I’m still learning what is true
[Bridge]
How do you heal
When you don’t know where it hurts
When your body says “we’re drowning”
But your brain says “this is work”
I wanna call
I wanna reach
But my hand won’t leave my side
Guess I’m scared that if you see me
You’ll just see the reasons why I hide (oh)
[Chorus]
’Cause I’ve never really felt love
Only bargains
Debt
And doubt
But you’re sitting on my staircase
And you haven’t walked me out
So I’m handing you my bad days
All the stains I can’t undo
Can you try to love me as I am
While I learn to love me too
[Outro]
I’ve never really felt love
But tonight I’ll let you stay
You can hold me while I’m hurting
I’ll be honest
I’m afraid
If I shake
If I go silent
Please don’t ask me to be new
Just stay and love me as I am
While I learn to love me too (yeah)

rock, Indie rock meets dusty blues: male vocals over reverb-soaked guitars and a lazy drum groove. Verses stay close and confessional with a dry vocal and tremolo guitar, then choruses swell with crunchy rhythm guitars, organ pads, and stacked harmonies. Bridge strips to vocal, bass, and rim-clicks before a final full-band lift and a raw, imperfect outro., blues, indie rock, healing