Empty Chair

I keep that chair by the door

Like you might come back

Like my brain missed a train

And the whole world went black

Phone face-down on the table

Still I stare at the screen

Half my nights are a courtroom

And I'm the one on the stand

They ask, "Why you lived?"

I don't have a clean answer

I was trying to breathe

While the room turned to ash

I replay every sentence

Every silence, every crack

If love was a net

How'd I still let you slip past?

I held on too tight

Then I let go too late

Now I carry your name

Like a plate full of weight

If guilt was a river

I'd still be knee-deep

I wake up reaching for you

Then I can't go back to sleep

I survived, and I hurt

(I survived, and I hurt)

I'm still here with your shadow

(I still carry your hurt)

Don't ask me to "move on"

It's a scar, not a phase

I survived, and I hurt

And I say your name

I learned how to smile

With the storm in my chest

How to say "I'm okay"

When I'm nowhere near best

Your jacket in the closet

Your keys in the bowl

Little ghost in the hallway

Little hole in my soul

I blamed my own hands

For the reach I couldn't make

For the call I didn't answer

For the breath you couldn't take

But the truth keeps arriving

Like a knock at the door

One person can't hold

What a whole pain was for

I held on too tight

Then I let go too late

Now I carry your name

Like a plate full of weight

If guilt was a river

I'd still be knee-deep

I wake up reaching for you

Then I can't go back to sleep

I survived, and I hurt

(I survived, and I hurt)

I'm still here with your shadow

(I still carry your hurt)

Don't ask me to "move on"

It's a scar, not a phase

I survived, and I hurt

And I say your name

Some nights I don't miss you

I just miss being whole

Miss the version of us

That could laugh and let go

If you hear me at all

I need you to know

I was never your ending

I was just left in the smoke

So I let the room shake

Let the tears hit the floor

Then I call one real friend

And I don't lock the door

I survived, and I hurt

(I survived, and I hurt)

I'm still here with your shadow

(I still carry your hurt)

Don't ask me to "move on"

It's a scar, not a phase

I survived, and I hurt

And I say your name