Dear Dad, If I would’ve known from that last notification on my phone, that was your final goodbye,
I would’ve dropped everything and rushed out the door, I would’ve given anything to see you one last time.
There was nothing I could do, my body was too sick already missing you.
I could barely make it to the restroom, without feeling faint, like my body didn’t want to stay, if I had to live without you.
You’ve already left, and all I can feel is emptiness. The only thing I can do is write to you.
I hope, you’ll forgive me for not getting there in time. It feels like a crime. I hope you realize how much I loved you all this time.
If you were sitting here, I know what you’d say: “Amy, please don’t lay here, in your bed, feeling like you failed me.” “I am healed, I am happy, and I know how much you loved me.”
I would get mad, and say dad, you don’t understand. I would’ve said everything I wanted to you that day. Because before you hung up the phone on Sunday, you told me that I was your daughter, and you were my dad.
I would’ve given anything, to kiss your head, and say “I love you dad.” Because for the first time, I felt like I had a father in my life.
All the men in my life, were superficial. Some had good intentions, but didn’t know what it meant to be a father, or what that was like.
But Kent, you did. You knew the things I struggled with. So I hope you hear this. When you told me that you would always be a dad to me, I knew you meant it.
I just wish I could’ve been a better daughter. I wish I could erase everything and do it right.
If I was there that morning, this is what I would do. I would’ve held you, I would’ve never left your side, and kissed the hands, that cared for me my whole life.
You took an abandoned little girl, and gave her a home. You told her, that she was never broken. When all she knew was brokenness.
It broke her when she had to see you die.
there is nothing she can do, but ask for forgiveness. Dear Dad, I hope you can forgive me. I hope you knew that I was there.
I hope you knew how much I truly loved you.
