The guacamole ghost

(A sharp rimshot on the snare, followed by a slinky, walking bassline and the rhythmic "shuck-a-shuck" of maracas. A saxophone plays a mysterious, "spooky" riff.)

Verse 1

I went to a party down at Maria’s place

I had a smile spread across my face

I brought a bowl of dip, the best in town

I was ready to boogie and a-lay it down

But I felt a chill come across the floor

And a strange little shadow slipped under the door!

Chorus

Oh! It’s the Guacamole Ghost, he’s a salty fright

He’s haunting all the snack bars in the middle of the night

He don’t want your money, he don’t want your soul

He just wants the bottom of my party bowl!

(Cha-cha-cha!)

Verse 2

I saw my girl, she was lookin’ so fine

I said, "Honey, won’t you be my Valentine?"

I reached for a chip to give her a treat

But the bowl started flyin’ right off of the sheet!

A floating avocado and a phantom lime

He’s the only spirit thieving all the time!

Bridge

(Music breaks down to just percussion and a funky piano montage)

I called the priest, I called the cops

I told ‘em "Help me ‘fore the flavor stops!"

The priest said, "Son, I can’t help you tonight...

I’m too busy hidin’ my salsa from sight!"

Verse 3

Now if you’re throwin’ a dance and the lights are low

And you feel a cold wind start to blow

Don’t look for a sheet or a chain to rattle

Just prepare yourself for a culinary battle

Lock up the kitchen, bolt the pantry door

Or that green-stained phantom’s gonna ask for more!

Chorus

Oh! It’s the Guacamole Ghost, he’s a salty fright

He’s haunting all the snack bars in the middle of the night

He don’t want your money, he don’t want your soul

He just wants the bottom of my party bowl!

(Cha-cha-cha!)

Outro

(The sax plays a final "spooky" flourish)

Hey! Get your hands off the cilantro!

Somebody get me a tortilla...

I’m goin' in!

(Final loud brass chord – "BAMP!")