Sabotage

You showed up like peace,

But I don’t trust quiet things.

So I lit a match just to feel heat—

Watched your love go up in flames.

You gave me gold, I turned it grey,

Told myself it wouldn’t last.

Now you’re fading in the rearview,

And I’m staring at the crash.

---

I break what I crave,

Then blame you for leaving.

Cut the ropes,

Then cry like I’m bleeding.

---

I sabotage every hand that tries to hold me,

Build a wall, then beg you not to go, please.

Say I want love, then drown it in doubt,

I scream your name — after I shut you out.

I poison what I pray for,

Burn bridges I can’t replace.

I wanted you to save me...

But I set the stage for my own fate.

---

I kiss like I mean it, then disappear,

Say I need space when you get too near.

Love feels like a loaded gun—

And I’m the one who pulls the trigger, just for fun.

I write promises in smoke,

Then vanish with the wind.

You were heaven at my doorstep—

So I never let you in.

I starve for the touch,

Then flinch when you’re near me.

I sever the ties,

Then drown in the fear of you leaving.

I sabotage what could've been salvation,

Chose the edge over the foundation.

I light the fuse, then cry at the flame,

Pretend I don’t know why you’re in pain.

I curse the silence I created,

Blame the mess I made on fate.

I wanted to be saved…

But I never planned to change.

I’m addicted to the ruin,

Comfort in the ache.

Even when I’m loved right…

I still find a way to break

I sabotage the light you tried to guide me with,

Built a kingdom out of cracks I never fixed.

I strike the match, then curse the smoke,

Act surprised when you're the one who chokes.

I haunted the silence, then called it a cage,

Buried the truth and blamed it on fate.

I begged for a lifeline...

But never let go of the weight.

Don’t forgive me.

I knew what I was doing.