Martel’s in the driveway, looking real supreme,
But the man is just a walking, talking pyramid scheme.
He borrowed five hundred from Barbara last May,
Now he’s ducking and dodging her every single day!
If he sees Barbara’s car, he’ll dive in the bushes,
Changing his numbers, giving fate major pushes.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, April’s cooking up a king,
Pyrex bubbling, she’s waterwhippin' everything!
Wrist in a swirl, making magic out of dust,
In April’s kitchen, a spatula is a must.
(Chorus)
Oh, the block is hot, the drama is high,
Everybody’s got a scam or a reason to lie.
We’re just trying to get rich, or just trying to get by,
Welcome to the neighborhood, don’t ask why!
(Verse 2: The Chaos Couples & The Speed Demons)
Cut to Danny and Monica, screaming on the phone,
Monica’s yelling 'cause she’s stuck all alone.
Danny’s in the backyard, feathers in his hair,
Fighting with the chickens like a true millionaire!
They both losing their minds, anxious for the slots,
Ready to blow their savings on the jackpot drops.
Down the street, Terrah’s selling homemade soap,
While Clint zooms by in a fast car—nope,
There he goes again, trying to break the sound barrier,
Making Terrah’s soap bubbles look a whole lot scarier.
(Verse 3: The Scammers & The Sights)
Amber’s on her laptop, running three new scams,
While her boyfriend Kendal is just serving eye candy for the 'Grams.
He’s just standing there looking pretty, not a thought in his head,
While Amber’s catfishing a guy named Ned.
Look over at the trash can, who’s that inside?
It’s Valerie dumpster diving, taking trash for a ride!
She found a broken toaster and a vintage shoe,
While Jeff’s on the lawn doing what he always do:
Stretching his hamstrings, toes in the grass,
With his graceful, long-legged, ballerina-looking ass!
(Chorus)
Oh, the block is hot, the drama is high,
Everybody’s got a scam or a reason to lie.
We’re just trying to get rich, or just trying to get by,
Welcome to the neJunior’s hanging out with three made-up friends,
Talking to the air like it’s a means to an end.
But wait—who’s that in the shadows, looking real sleek?
It’s Rachel and Junior doing a fast-sneaking sneak!
They tip-toeing round the corner, trying not to get caught,
While Victor’s standing there, completely lost in thought.
Victor looks around, confused by the class,
Muttering, "How do you say in English... Blue-looking ass?"
(Verse 5: The Grand Finale)
We gotta talk about Sherina, standing on the wall,
With her Humpty Dumpty ass, hoping she don’t fall!
Her dog Bailey’s barking, trying to keep her steady,
While Michelle walks past, and y'all, she is ready.
Michelle’s walking down the street, shaking up the lawn,
She got her own ass cheeks cheering her on!
(Clap, clap! Go Michelle! Clap, clap! Go Michelle!)
(Outro)
Yeah, Martel still owes Barbara money.
April’s still whippin'.
Danny, put the chickens down, we going to the casino!
What a block. What a life.
(Fade out on the sound of chickens clucking and slot machines dinging)
