In The Middle Of It

Verse 1
There’s glitter on the kitchen floor,
Sticky shoes and slamming doors,
Someone’s yelling lyrics I don’t know
I laugh like I’m supposed to
Nod along to half a joke
But no one really notices I’m quiet

I hug a girl I barely know
She says, “We have to hang out soon”
We both know we won’t
I check my phone like it might glow
With something pulling me back home
But it’s just silence in my pocket

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Pre-Chorus
And I keep drifting room to room
Like maybe I’ll feel different soon

⸻

Chorus
I’m in the middle of it
Music loud, but I don’t feel it
Hundred people in this room
And I’ve never felt so removed
They’re all laughing like it’s easy
Like their hearts aren’t kinda heavy
I’m just standing in the blur
Like I don’t belong to it

I came out to feel alive
Now I just wanna disappear tonight

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Verse 2
Someone spills a drink on me
Says, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry”
I say, “It’s fine,” like I mean it
Cold and soaking through my sleeve
Same way something’s soaking me
But I can’t name the feeling

There’s girls in heels on countertops
And boys who can’t stand up and talk
Everyone’s a little gone
And I’m not drunk enough to float
Through this like it’s beautiful
I just feel everything too strong

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Pre-Chorus
I catch my reflection in the glass
And I don’t recognize who that is

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Chorus
I’m in the middle of it
Lights are flashing, I’m not in it
Every face is passing through
But nobody is staying, too
They’ve got circles, they’ve got stories
Inside jokes and shared mornings
I just orbit for a while
Then I fade out of their sight

I came out to feel alive
Why do I feel more alone tonight?

⸻

Bridge
I keep thinking this is what I’m supposed to love
Early twenties, going out, staying up
But I’m counting minutes, not memories
Trying on a life that doesn’t fit me

What’s the point of showing up
If I still feel like I’m not enough
In a crowded room, invisible
God, it shouldn’t feel this difficult

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Breakdown (soft)
So I say bye to someone I just met
Grab my jacket, don’t make it a thing
Cold air hits like honesty
And I finally breathe

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Final Chorus (stripped, then build)
I was in the middle of it
But I never really felt it
Hundred people, no one knew
I was breaking in plain view
They were laughing like it’s easy
Maybe it is, just not for me
Maybe fun’s not where I’ve been
Maybe I just haven’t found it yet

⸻

Outro
Streetlights blur as I walk home
Heels in my hand, phone still cold
And I don’t know what’s wrong with me
But I know I couldn’t stay

Yeah, I wanted to feel alive
But I think I just survived tonight  

indie pop / Gracie Abrams + Holly Humberstone + Phoebe Bridgers vibes (soft, emotional, slightly ambient build)