Untitled

Caught in the thought that I’m losing

I’m losing this fight and I’m proving

People right I’m a bum

I’m white trash with no cash

Trynna chase a bag but I crash

I’m in a room full of people

But sum how I still feel alone

I’m a walking zombie I’m a clone

Walking staring at the old me on my phone

Seeing me smiling before I started walking

Honestly I’m falling my legs don’t work no more I’m crawling

I’m sick of this walk of life

I wanna end this rife

Seeing a knife makes me tempted

I can’t get rid of these thoughts there cemented

In my brain and it’s leaving me dented

I already feel ended

I feel the end is closer then the start

I see doom I know doom I’ve lived this bloom

It’s not to pretty when your alone in this room

Lately feeling dead fucked up in the head

With no thoughts to shed

I have nothing to say it’s already been said

I’m a ghost in my own body

Watching as someone ruins there life like I’m in a lobby

At a psych ward

My minds torn I need to cry more I need to get off of this high horse

I need to get rid of this blond fold

Sick acting like I’m fine

And smiling like pain is sublime

I’m at the end of the line

I’m burning out no more shine

Bring flowers to decorate my shrine

I’m not fine

Coping off of nicotine

And weed and everything in between

Stuck with misery

Smoke green

To feel dopamine

Shit I might be a fein

Sick of life in the nosebleeds

Sick of watching my life through this static screen

Window shopping my life

Like I’m looking in sum magazines

I’m stuck in quarantine

From living

God can you tell me

Why I’m in such misery

Like honestly why does it feel like your out for me with such prophecy

Feels like you hate me with so much power which you probably do

Are you making me pay or is this satan haunting me

Is this why I’m not at peace

I don’t even know

Thinking of giving up

Living is getting tough

Heart feeling rusted and stuck

Every breath is a bluff

My faith running out of luck

I’m splitting apart

Feels like there’s a missing part

And it’s rippin my heart

I’m falling apart

Because living is to hard

This is a written scar

I was broken from the start

My heart cold shivered

I don’t feel healed I just got better at hiding it

I get better and it’s like the timin start bindin and it starts riding me pain won’t hop off its grinding and winding me

Leave me reminded of my pain like it’s confined

I learned how to cope not how to be okay

I miss who I was before I saw this play

I don’t wanna die I just don’t wanna feel this decay

I say I’m ok because explaining hurts more

I’m still here still blade just not present

Stuck bleeding on the floor

And with no one to see this gore

I don’t feel sad just empty

And it feels like gods left me

I’ve learned how to live with it not past it