Caught in the thought that I’m losing
I’m losing this fight and I’m proving
People right I’m a bum
I’m white trash with no cash
Trynna chase a bag but I crash
I’m in a room full of people
But sum how I still feel alone
I’m a walking zombie I’m a clone
Walking staring at the old me on my phone
Seeing me smiling before I started walking
Honestly I’m falling my legs don’t work no more I’m crawling
I’m sick of this walk of life
I wanna end this rife
Seeing a knife makes me tempted
I can’t get rid of these thoughts there cemented
In my brain and it’s leaving me dented
I already feel ended
I feel the end is closer then the start
I see doom I know doom I’ve lived this bloom
It’s not to pretty when your alone in this room
Lately feeling dead fucked up in the head
With no thoughts to shed
I have nothing to say it’s already been said
I’m a ghost in my own body
Watching as someone ruins there life like I’m in a lobby
At a psych ward
My minds torn I need to cry more I need to get off of this high horse
I need to get rid of this blond fold
Sick acting like I’m fine
And smiling like pain is sublime
I’m at the end of the line
I’m burning out no more shine
Bring flowers to decorate my shrine
I’m not fine
Coping off of nicotine
And weed and everything in between
Stuck with misery
Smoke green
To feel dopamine
Shit I might be a fein
Sick of life in the nosebleeds
Sick of watching my life through this static screen
Window shopping my life
Like I’m looking in sum magazines
I’m stuck in quarantine
From living
God can you tell me
Why I’m in such misery
Like honestly why does it feel like your out for me with such prophecy
Feels like you hate me with so much power which you probably do
Are you making me pay or is this satan haunting me
Is this why I’m not at peace
I don’t even know
Thinking of giving up
Living is getting tough
Heart feeling rusted and stuck
Every breath is a bluff
My faith running out of luck
I’m splitting apart
Feels like there’s a missing part
And it’s rippin my heart
I’m falling apart
Because living is to hard
This is a written scar
I was broken from the start
My heart cold shivered
I don’t feel healed I just got better at hiding it
I get better and it’s like the timin start bindin and it starts riding me pain won’t hop off its grinding and winding me
Leave me reminded of my pain like it’s confined
I learned how to cope not how to be okay
I miss who I was before I saw this play
I don’t wanna die I just don’t wanna feel this decay
I say I’m ok because explaining hurts more
I’m still here still blade just not present
Stuck bleeding on the floor
And with no one to see this gore
I don’t feel sad just empty
And it feels like gods left me
I’ve learned how to live with it not past it
