[VERSE 1 – melodic rap]
I don’t remember half the nights I had to make it through.
I disappeared inside myself before I ever talked to you.
You say I’m distant like it’s somethin’ that I choose to do.
You don’t know the things I saw before my mind split into two.
I held my breath so many times my lungs forgot their job.
Had to leave my body just to live through what I saw.
Yeah, I learned survival young, and that’s a skill you never taught.
Funny how you call me “cold” when you’re the reason I went soft.
[PRE-CHORUS – tension]
And every time I slip away,
You ask “What’s wrong?” then look away.
You say you care, but here’s the truth…
Where were you?
[CHORUS – emotional]
Where were you
When I froze inside my skin?
Where were you
When I couldn’t let you in?
Where were you
When the world went black on cue?
I was breakin’ just to breathe—
Where… were… you?
[VERSE 2 – cadence]
Don’t tell me “move on,” don’t tell me “heal.”
Half of what I lost, I never even got to feel.
Dissociation isn’t magic, it’s a wound I never chose.
It’s the body savin’ me from things that everybody else ignores.
You say I’m “hard to love,” but you don’t know the cost it takes.
Tryin’ to stay inside myself when every sound feels like a quake.
I didn’t vanish ’cause I wanted to, I vanished just to live.
And every time I reached for you, you never matched the love I give.
[PRE-CHORUS]
And every time I fade away,
You ask “What changed?” then walk away.
You say you care, but here’s the truth…
Where were you?
[CHORUS – layered]
Where were you
When my hands shook on the door?
Where were you
When my heart hit the floor?
Where were you
When my past came breakin’ through?
I was holdin’ on for life—
Where… were… you?
[RAP BRIDGE – fire]
Yeah…
I remember every second that you claim you never saw.
Like the nights I checked the locks until my fingers went raw.
I remember bein’ small, tryin’ to shrink inside my bones.
Only place I felt safe was far away and alone.
You wanna hear the truth? I never needed you to save me.
I needed someone in the moment when the panic overtakes me.
But you were never there, you only came when I was strong.
So don’t ask me why I’m distant—
You ain’t earned the right to be that close at all.
[FINAL CHORUS – soft, resigned]
Where were you
When the walls closed in too soon?
Where were you
When my mind split into two?
Where were you
When I needed someone true?
Now I’m learnin’ how to stand—
And I don’t need you.
PepperVice
