“Gone Before Goodbye”
I emptied every piece of myself
Until I barely recognized my own reflection.
The man staring back at me
Looks exhausted…
Like he stopped fighting a long time ago.
I carried your weight without complaint,
Held you together while I came apart.
Every time you were drowning,
I became the shore.
Every time you were breaking,
I became the glue.
I gave you my strength
Until there was nothing left to stand on.
My heart kept beating for everyone else,
Even while mine was slowly fading.
When your world collapsed,
I answered.
When your nights were filled with tears,
I stayed awake beside you.
When you lost hope,
I spent my own trying to rebuild yours.
But when my sky finally fell,
There was nobody waiting beneath it.
Where were you
When I couldn’t breathe?
When every night ended with my face buried in a pillow,
Trying to cry quietly so nobody would hear?
I poured every ounce of light I had into your darkness.
Now I’m wandering through my own.
I gave my time.
My loyalty.
My soul.
And when I finally needed someone to catch me…
Everyone disappeared.
People called me strong
Like that meant I couldn’t break.
They never saw the panic.
They never saw the nights
I begged myself to make it to morning.
I was the one everyone leaned on,
Until I became too heavy to carry.
Maybe I was never family.
Maybe I was only useful
As long as I could keep everyone else standing.
Tell me…
Was I a person,
Or just something to lean against?
Don’t tell me you never knew.
The cracks were there.
You just looked away.
You said,
“Reach out if you need me.”
I believed you.
So I reached…
And all I found
Was silence.
No calls.
No messages.
No one knocking.
No one asking if I survived another night.
That silence said more
Than words ever could.
I’m done trying to rescue everyone else.
I’m done setting myself on fire
To keep other people warm.
The version of me
That loved without limits…
He didn’t make it.
This isn’t revenge.
This isn’t hate.
It’s a funeral
For the man who stayed too long…
Who gave too much…
Who forgot that he deserved saving too.
One day you might think about me.
Maybe you’ll wonder what happened.
Maybe regret will visit you.
But by then,
I’ll already be gone from your story.
You weren’t there
When my world caved in.
You weren’t there
When I forgot how to keep swimming.
I carried your hurt
Until it became my own.
I broke myself
Trying to make sure you never had to.
Now there’s nothing left to give.
When I needed you,
There were no voices…
No hands…
No comfort…
Only silence.
And in the end,
Silence told me exactly
Where I stood.
If I disappear from this world,
Don’t say you never saw it coming.
The signs were always there.
You just chose not to look.
GatorM134
