Silence is loud final rap

I need a distraction 24/7 I need to have something to distract my mind because the silence is too loud, if I’m not doing anything my head starts to talk and she’s not very nice. She reminds me of all the things I have going on in my life, how I’m running out of time she makes me scared of things that hasn’t happened yet, she puts me into panic so I have to shut her out, but she’s also a big part of me so I’m shutting myself out too. that scared little girl begging me for help.

Please help you have to see me, I’m right here don’t shut me out. I need you. Please you have to see what’s gonna happen if you lose me. Where do I go and what do I leave here for you? I need you

I can hear her screams in my head but I’m ignoring her because her hurt hurts me. She comes every night trying to talk to me I watch movies to distract her, I take sleeping pills so she doesn’t have a chance. A person who loves her own space and time alone can’t be alone because I’m so scared she’ll want to talk I’m not ready to listen to her fears and what she thinks is gonna happen. I’ve begged her to leave me alone please stop this is too much but she just talked faster and louder and we both end up crying.

Please help you have to see me, I’m right here don’t shut me out. I need you. Please you have to see what’s gonna happen if you lose me. Where do I go and what do I leave here for you? I need you as much as you need me please don’t leave

I blast music to drown out her cries, I can feel her distancing herself from me realising I can’t help her and I can’t talk to her but she’s taking my heart with her.

Please help you have to see me, I’m right here don’t shut me out. I need you. Please you have to see what’s gonna happen if you lose me. Where do I go and what do I leave here for you? I need you and you need me let’s help each other please don’t lose me