Halfway to Forever

Forty candles

Melted down on the counter

Phone lit up

With a name I don't answer

Same old story

Swipe right on a ghost

Lying here wondering

Is this all I get

This close?

I'm halfway to forever

Still hiding in the dark of my room

Scared that if you see me

You'll turn and walk out too soon

I keep saying I'll be braver

But I freeze when someone touches my hand

I'm halfway to forever

Terrified of being who I am

Mom keeps asking

"Anyone special these days?"

I laugh it off

Change the subject

Pour the wine

Fade away

Friends got husbands

Kids and chaos and rings

I got playlists

And a heart that still flinches at things

I'm halfway to forever

Still hiding in the dark of my room

Scared that if you see me

You'll turn and walk out too soon

I keep saying I'll be braver

But I choke when someone calls me "my man"

I'm halfway to forever

Terrified of being who I am

What if there's a boy

Sitting alone like me

Leaving space on his sofa

Saving one side of the sheets

What if it's not too late

To stop running from my own name

To let somebody love

All the parts I was taught to shame (oh)

I'm halfway to forever

But I'm tired of the dark of this room

If you stand in the doorway

I swear I'll try and step to you

I keep saying I'll be braver

Maybe tonight I finally can

I'm halfway to forever

Come and meet me in the middle

My man