Yeah…
They see the grin, not the damage
Laugh loud so nobody panic
But when the room go dark…
It’s just me and my thoughts again
I wear a fake smile when I walk through the crowd,
Say I’m okay while my head scream loud,
Everybody see the jokes, they don’t see the pain,
Don’t know I been drowning in my own brain.
Soon as I get home and the door lock tight,
All the happy disappear with the city lights,
Got tears in my eyes but I still act strong,
‘Cause being broken been my vibe too long.
I learned how to hide all the cuts in my soul,
Turn pain into humor, never let it show,
Got people around me but I still feel alone,
Like nobody really know what’s going on.
“Yo, you good?” yeah I lie every day,
Got a thousand dark thoughts I can’t escape,
Mirror on the wall and I hate that face,
Smile for the world then I break backstage.
Late nights, no sleep, just staring at the ceiling,
Tryna fight demons while I lose all feeling,
Heart went numb from the pressure and stress,
Everybody love me but I still feel less.
And I know they wouldn’t understand,
How a happy face can hide a broken man,
So I keep on playing my role again,
Even though I’m barely holding in.
I wear a fake smile when I walk through the crowd,
Say I’m okay while my head scream loud,
Everybody see the jokes, they don’t see the pain,
Don’t know I been drowning in my own brain.
Soon as I get home and the door lock tight,
All the happy disappear with the city lights,
Got tears in my eyes but I still act strong,
‘Cause being broken been my vibe too long.
I be sitting in silence with the TV on,
Just so it feel like somebody home,
Phone full of contacts I never call,
‘Cause I’m scared they won’t care at all.
And the worst part?
People think I’m healing,
‘Cause I mastered hiding every broken feeling,
Got a fake laugh and a practiced grin,
But inside my soul feel paper thin.
Every night I’m fighting myself in my head,
Tryna outrun thoughts that be wishing me dead,
But I wake back up and I do it again,
Put the mask right on when I step back in.
Maybe one day somebody gon’ see,
The war that’s hiding underneath me,
Not the smile… not the jokes I make,
But the tired soul slowly starting to break.
I wear a fake smile when I walk through the crowd,
Say I’m okay while my head scream loud,
Everybody see the light, they don’t see the rain,
Don’t know I’m exhausted from hiding pain.
Soon as I get home and the world fade out,
I’m alone with the fears and the self-doubt,
Still fighting these demons all night long,
Hoping someday I won’t feel this gone.
Yeah…
Fake smile on again tomorrow
Same pain… different morning.
LDRides
