The Struggle…

Some mornings that mattress

Looks better than this road

Phone full of missed calls

Heart full of old ghosts

Coffee in the kitchen

Shakes in my hands

Little shoes by the doorway

Remind me who I am

But I wanna be the man they need

Not this hollow, hurting thing

God, if You can hear me bleed

Turn this cracked dirt into spring

I am broken, I admit it

Still I’m begging in this night

Give me strength to stand and live it

When the bed looks better than life

I see questions in their faces

I see trust in every smile

They don’t know the storms I’m chasing

How I’m drowning all the while

Bills on the table

Bible on the shelf

I touch the cover, whisper

Save them from myself

‘Cause I wanna be the man they need

Not this hollow, hurting thing

God, if You can hear me bleed

Turn this cracked dirt into spring

I am broken, I admit it

Still I’m begging in this night

Give me strength to stand and live it

When the bed looks better than life

I fall apart in the bathroom light (oh Lord)

Stare my fear down in the mirror each night

If You’re there in the dark, don’t let me hide

Hold my shaking hands till the morning rides

I still wanna be the man they need

Even shaking, even weak

God, I’m on my busted knees

Put Your fire in the words I speak

I am broken, but I’m breathing

Keep me walking through this fight

Give me strength to keep on being

What they need

When the bed looks better than life