Lonely

I feel so alone inside. I feel like I ruin everybody’s relationship because I’m not in one and is unhappy. I feel like most people don’t need me. Hell, I feel like the world don’t give a fuck about me. People say that they’re there for me but I don’t feel it. I wish people can see me for me. That’s all I ask. I ask myself, “would the world be better off without me?” I refuse to show my emotions because ever since I was a youngin, that’s all I’ve been told “man the fuck up!!!!” And “no one gives a fuck”. All my life, I felt like it’s been controlled by other motherfuckers Abd how they want me to live my life as time goes on and I get older and the oldest, I put on a fake ass smile and pretend like everything is the fuck ok even tho I know it’s not. Because it’s bullshit. But I do it because my younger siblings deserves to see how strong their big brother is. But in all reality and at the end of the day, I feel like dying because the world doesn’t give a flying fuck!!!!! About me. Some one please shoot me. Blow my brains out. Stab me in my head. Stab me in the heart. Tie me up and throw me in the ocean. Now that im gone. The world can breath, no one has to deal with my shit I can see from heaven that the world is 1000000x better and happier. Mama I’m sorry but I couldn’t. And to my siblings, I’m sorry I failed yall as an older brother. And to all my friends, I’m sorry I was a fucked yo person and wasn’t the friend u wanted. To everyone who hated me, im sorry i failed u. I can now live your lives and don’t gotta worry about shit about me. I’m home with god now..