Verse 1
Two fools in the moonlight, stumbling through the pines,
Hunting for the kind of shrooms that bend and twist your mind.
One man’s blind—left his glasses in the truck,
The other’s half-deaf and whisperin’,
“Bro, tonight we’re outta luck.”
But the night was soft, the world was still,
Just crickets, wind, and a backwoods chill—
Until the silence cracked like a bottle on stone,
Sirens humming low like a warning in our bones.
Chorus
Then whoooop-whoooop — lights cut through the trees,
Sound bouncing off the valley, coming fast on the breeze.
My boy looks at me wide-eyed, shaking his hands,
Says, “I’m done, man! I’m DONE, man!”
I said, “What the hell you mean you’re done?”
Thinking he’s about to pull some stunt—
He yells back, voice rising like a war drum’s hum,
“I ain’t lettin’ these pigs put cuffs on me again, not one!”
Verse 2
Then he steps in close with that wild-man frown,
“Bro, you ready to throw down?”
And I’m staring like — please don’t snap,
But he laughs, waving me off, “Not you, you sap!
You dumbass — not YOU —
I mean with someone talkin’ trash, coming out the blue.”
Without a pause I nod, “You know I got your back,
Ride or die, bro, that’s the pact.”
But before we can plan or even react,
Blue lights hit the creekbed like a wolfpack attack.
Chorus
Then whoooop-whoooop — they’re rolling up slow,
Spotlights creeping like they already know.
One cop steps out, hand resting on his vest,
Says, “What are you boys doing out here in the wilderness?”
My boy jumps in—like he’d rehearsed it for a play,
“We’re just two guys headed to DSHS today!”
Verse 3
Cop squints hard like he’s smelling a lie,
“So why you out here in the woods at night?”
He says, “Well sir…
Turns out they’re closed
‘Til Monday morning at nine,”
And I’m dying inside—
Because he ain’t done with the line.
He shrugs like it’s normal as grass and dew,
“So we got two days with nothing to do…
Figured we’d just… y’know…”
He leans in low,
“Make sweet gay love in the meadow ‘til they open, bro.”
And the cop seems frozen, confused as a stone,
While I’m praying to God he don’t ask nothing more.
Two fools in the dark with a half-baked lie,
Just trying not to get cuffed beneath a Saturday sky.
Final Chorus
Then whoooop-whoooop — radios crack and fade,
They back away muttering, “These boys ain’t paid…
Enough to deal with whatever THIS is, not today.”
And just like that — the squad rolls away.
My boy looks at me like, “Bro… we almost died.”
I laugh so hard I damn near cried.
Outro
Two days ‘til Monday, stuck in the night,
Two idiots wandering under strobe-blue light.
Didn’t find mushrooms, didn’t get caught —
Just lived one more stupid story
That no sane man could’ve taught.
JasEnTime
