ADHD

my mind never stops ADHD funny thoughts,

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak. 

So a termite walks into the bar and asks, ‘Is the bartender here.. Now the future, the present, and the past walk into the bar. Things got a little tense..

But seriously . What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes?

Open toad sandals.

Also pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants. Just an FYI..and FML. It's everywhere..

Speaking of everywhere.

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres.

What am I talking about..

But Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now.

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it..

And I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

Also What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet...Supplies. lol

What does a sprinter eat before a race.. nothing, they fast. Haha how do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut..

How does a taco say grace?

Lettuce pray..

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

I don't have any idea please tell me. Lol

What does a bee use to brush its hair?.

A honeycomb..haha

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese..

You have two parts of the brain, “left” and “right”. On the left side, there’s nothing right and on the right side, there’s nothing left but wondering....

Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap..

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water..

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician..

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you...

And your wondering Why do bees hum? They don’t remember the lyrics or something..

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He didn’t get hurt because it was a soft drink... lol What.

Did you hear the man who created autocorrect has died..... Restaurant in peace.....

There are three kinds of people. Those who can count and those who can’t..

Whenever I lose my TV controller, I always find it in a remote location...

My first job was working in an orange juicefactory, but I got canned. I just couldn’t concentrate. My math teacher called me average.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do..

ADHD thinking funny thoughts,,