"Hiya friends"
"DO YOU WANNA know how I feel on this very special day?"
my ribs creak
when i breathe too deep
like my bones remember
what it cost to keep
everything in
when i should’ve screamed
choked on pride
till it cut in streams
i bleed in the dark
so nobody’d stare
but they looked anyway —
like i wasn’t even there
left love no hope
left god no joke
said “i’m fine”
with my hands ice-cold
i was dying inside
while they scrolled past slow
every post, every sigh
just a "like" for the show
stomach full of sludge
i kept calling it hunger
but it was grief, just dressed up
like the dark hunter
they loved me
as long as i performed
as long as my pain
was tragic — not deformed
but i don't smile pretty
i don't beg sweet
i don’t fold into poems
i just grind my teeth
Scratch marks
in the palms of my fists
i held in the screams
till they turned into cysts
now i leak when i laugh
ooze when i sleep
can't tell if it's tears
or blood that I weep
i said i’d heal
but i lied to cope
kept the blade in my bag
like a backup hope
kept the guilt in my throat
like a song i choke
kept the ghosts in my bed
like a cruel, inside joke
Society says “time will fix you”
but I never can keep up
With it's hands.
every second’s another
i trusted
someone to care
and they didn’t
someone to see me
and they didn’t
someone to hold on
but they quit it
left me with versions
of me that don’t fit it
showered in shame
dried off with sheets,
wore my regrets
like a suit to the violence
no god left
just graveyard prayers
and apologies
they whispered
into vacant chairs
still i breathe
but it’s out of spite
still i speak
though it don’t sound right
still i stand
though the ground feels thin
and if i fall?
don’t invite them in
‘cause i bled for this peace
and it cost too much
to let ghosts who watched
now fake their touch
i'm not your fixer' upper
not your comeback friend
i'm the version of pain
you can't pretend
you didn’t help
you didn’t stay
you didn’t ask
if i was okay
so don’t act like you care
now that i made it out
when you watched it disappear
without a shout
LyricallyInsane
